The Destiny
by AnnaCharlie
Summary: And the stars shone more brightly for us than ever. It was clear that we are one for each other. Maybe it's so destines for fate, but we immediately understood it. It is possible that this love affair can be the biggest mistake in my life.
1. the destiny

_You destroyed everything that I lived for._

It happens that in a certain period of time where we meet a certain person, which is during around now. Such a strange law of attraction, such ... a mutually beneficial salvation. When there is a voluntary wish to inhale a little madness, and to allow itself to walk on the side between loss of mind and common sense. I felt that I was fighting in two worlds at the same time: in reality, I saw how the enemies rushed to meet me. And inside I fought with my feelings, inside I was in a state of civil war. Feelings intermixed, perception faltered, black seemed to me white, and white - to black. How did it happen?

George and I did not have anything that could serve as the beginning of a love affair. It felt strange to look away from his casual smile in my direction. It was nice to feel his hand on my shoulder. And sometimes frightening to realize that you can't break eye contact with him to have that moment. But I was not in love with him. And sometimes, by this despair, from a misunderstanding that was happening to me, I wanted to lean out a window and scream.

When he first kissed me, I swore that one day I will do so. How did it happen that the simple touch turned into kisses? His look became warmer and smiles suddenly acquired hundreds of thousands of shades of blush upon my cheeks? I don't know, kissing a man who was married to a woman, I did not expect to feel the need for it. It was a passion and every day, I hated myself more and more for it.

I often repeated to myself: "This is wrong, this is a crime. Stop, stop, stop!"

I often thought about how all this could end for both of us. I pondered, believed and imagined, and each time I realized that it was time to stop. I do not like him, after all. This should not go beyond simple thoughts and fantasies. This is only a sin, obsession, a damn disorder with which one wants to kiss not a girl in elegant and expensive clothes, but a man whose hands make you forget everything in the world.

It was not meant to be something that could change my life!

It still was just a hobby, of daydreaming about it. Although in fact, we have long fallen into the abyss. I kept repeating to myself: this is a crime. I whispered to him in lips while choked with groans. I whispered when went crazy from his touches. I whispered, feeling as his fingers do something unimaginable. I desperately whispered to him that this crime.

A crime against the feelings of those who love us.

Dear Eliza,

What would you say if you knew that your husband is going crazy under the kisses of Mr. President? How would you react to this? I know that you are very kind and understanding, love me so much that sometimes you are overwhelmed by feelings. You write me sincere letters. However, I am so strongly convinced that if you do find out, then you will hate me with all your tender heart. Every time I see the shine in her eyes, conscience eats me up. After all, she did not deserve this; But what would Martha say? After all, I, such a bastard, take away her beloved man. Bastard to whom she trusts. I can not imagine how I would have looked into the eyes of at least one of them. How can I look into the eyes of a woman from whom I stole her husband away from her? I'm still afraid to imagine what will happen if she finds out about everything. And at one point I finally realized that this can not continue. I remember how I angrily pushed Aaron out the door, even ignoring his attempt to insult me and slammed the door in front of him. I was like a bratty child.

"You're too insolent, my boy!" George was indignant. "What do you allow yourse-"

I did not let him finish, just crossing the distance between me and the table in a few steps. In my gesture, when I grabbed my fingers in the collar of his uniform, there was so much despair that it literally oozed out of me in large portions.

"I can't do this anymore," I blurted out in one breath, and even more clung to the collar, feeling the threads burst under my fingers. "We have to…"

"Alexander."

"We…" I do not know what, but something inside me snapped in that moment, when he got to his feet and slammed his fist on the table, he put his hands around my face. I looked at him with wet, red, puffy eyes and could not understand what I actually felt. I knew I should stop, I knew it all wrong. But I absolutely did not know what I felt. That's why, pushing George's hands away, I gathered all my determination and looked into his eyes. "We have to finish this."

Washington couldn't think of anything to say, just gently took my hand in his and tenderly squeezed. My heart skipped a beat and thudded to my stomach as he touched my lips just as gently. I thought that nothing terrible would happen if he went a little lower…

What was between us was not love. I was already in love and it was different. This is something else, something that some external force, that took possession of me in a heartbeat. And inside me was a real, bloody carnage. I wasn't so sure that if I really did not feel anything- it's impossible not to love the person to whom you run away with, not having finished working affairs, to spend together a couple of hours and go to the pavement, to see how the apple trees are blooming. But from the thought that I'm in love with him, I sometimes forgot to breathe and self-hatred grew.

"In this endless history, it is destined for us to become a great nation to God!" Said one of the people in the square. "All the trials that fall to our lot harden our spirit, help us fight our fears. It helps not to look back and look forward. Protect your freedom and those who are behind your back. This is our destiny, to achieve victory and no one can stop it! Even if the ways of the Lord are inscrutable, America is destined to become a great country!"

Those who stood there, hooting and shouting out the exclamations of consent, perfectly understandable, for them, "tomorrow" may not come at all. But not one of them even for a moment doubted the future, "predetermined" by their country. After all, faith in men, is capable of breaking both the walls and bones of his enemies. I nodded to the orator who looked at me and scrolled his words in my head. "Predetermined". At some point, I wanted to sink through the ground right into hell, because I felt my cheeks blush and it's not clear. From what was it, shame or embarrassment?

Among the stars, is there is a change occurred or how else to explain my relationship with the General? It could not have been a foreshadowed by someone from above, I'm sure God has other plans for us, but what else is the point? Is this just a mere intertwining with the two fates? Or we ourselves are guilty of our intimacy?

Just a hobby, as I feared, was no longer "just a hobby". It became a dependency, a habit, without it it was already difficult to exist. In the mornings I needed Eliza's not in love look, but the warmth of my favorite eyes. And I did not want to kiss the girl's graceful body. I wanted to touch by fingers of his press, his strong hands. I wanted to kiss the lips of... not my man. After all, I knew Martha loved him and over time... I also fell in love with him. And if in the beginning I thought it was easy, just to kiss another woman's man and not think about the fact that his wife is waiting at home. But, over time it became unbearable with someone to share it.

And I knew that eventually it will soon become impossible. Over time, I again began to think that this is wrong, unnatural, that it should be stopped now, because everything is going too far. We must not allow this to be the biggest mistake for us.

Already lying on the bed by George, who kissed every millimeter of my face, I heard:

"Tell me everything that disturbs you." I closed my eyes and grabbed his back, nails scratching his shoulders. My eyes glistened, and I bit my lip, feeling like he was doing a particularly deep push. "Tell me, Alex," he repeated it again and again, and I hugged him so tightly as he could, wanting to these moments lasted forever. Wanting forever remember his smell, the body covered with scars, I wanted him to be just mine.

Kiss the lips of the President between meetings. To go crazy about how he takes me right on his desk, on documents sticking to the body. To hug him seeing that he is tense, just go to him, pick up the documents from his hand, climb up his fingers under his uniform and hug tight.

In all this there was something that made me fall in love with him. Absolutely, totally ... hopeless. We spoke in one topic, we had similar worldviews, and his sharp mind sometimes made me forget how to breathe. He was smart, handsome, charismatic, and I was smiling when he smiled at me. I enjoyed every word he said and I could not believe that some part of it, belongs to me.

"What's the matter?"

I felt how his hands lay on my shoulders, I clung closer, wrapping my arms around his waist. We were standing in the water completely naked, and it was so natural, so comfortable that did not cause any conflict inside. The water gently caressed the body, relaxed it and from this I wanted to close my eyes and go to the bottom, enjoying the warm current. Above our heads a snow-white sphere of the Moon was shining, dotted with an innumerable number of stars.

"Alexander?"

"Protectionism increased the number of sales of our goods and services,"I pretended that my words now have any meaning and sighed with relief. "It's good."

"Protectionism as a whole has positively affected our economy," he stated. I nodded in agreement. "But you're think about something else."

Of course ... he knew me better than anyone else. I really thought about something else. These thoughts have long been in my head and I just could not stop thinking about it. But every day I realize that it has become a habit, so terrible exchange for temporary happiness. These thoughts are like a clock that are creeping in the opposite direction, up to the moment when it's over. And these thoughts as well as a couple of years ago, continue to devour me inside. Angelica was right, I will never be satisfied.

"Do you think, our relationship is not a mistake?"

"I do not exclude that it could happen," I smiled bitterly, and kissed his neck. I felt a warm smile in his face. "But now I do not care about it at all."

"Maybe we'll part? So far, everything has not gone too far …"

"Do you want this?"

I wanted to stop torturing myself with thoughts that cause me to fear the future, because it is not in my spirit. I must live without this, I _want_ to live without fear of it. I want to break down walls, tear stereotypes, expose destiny to unexpected turns and myself to be its master. But am I ready to give up who has become the meaning of my life?

"Alex."

I put my head on his shoulder, not knowing what to say. Images of the past, present and possible future froze in front of my eyes, and I could not decide. I was in love with him. My faithfulness in love for Eliza faded in the new feelings, our relationship with her resembled a board holding onto, one stone and someone constantly had to maintain a balance. It's necessary. But I love my son. I worry about him, even if I do not show it. I swore myself to protect him from all misfortunes, even if the whole world can not be hidden from him. And I loved George. His eyes, his broad shoulders, his hands, his touch, his mind, his thoughts, him, which had become for me a native, a smile. I loved him aright...

"Alexander, listen. We-"

"George," I pulled back to look into his eyes. "I love you."

I laughed when he opened his eyes in astonishment and grimaced incredulously. I never confessed my love for him, on the contrary, this is George swore to me almost at every opportunity, so that is not peculiar to him. I gently ran his hand over his cheek and hugged his neck, our lips were a few inches from each other.

He smiled and kissed me. Gentle, circling his head, the kiss was so sensuous that I could only marvel at own promiscuity. The kisses of George moved to my cheekbones, shoulders, neck, as if trying to leave a trace visible to him only. He ran his fingers through my wet hair, pulling me closer.

"You mean a lot to me," George said, and I smiled, I knew. And he was important to me no less. Moving away from each other, we looked into each other's eyes. His hands moved to my shoulders, and I passionately crashed my lips on his.

After all, if somewhere in our destinies, at this very moment we should be together: we will. Through quarrels, insults, misunderstandings. Smile so much that it hurts. Kissing so often that we became helpless. Choking on the sheets, giving an incredible feeling and devotedly look into the eyes of the opposite.

And maybe it's not destiny. Maybe this is really a crime, and make a point. But at the last moment for some reason we replace it by a comma, in this neverending story.

And the stars shone more brightly for us than ever. It was clear that we are one for each other. Maybe it's so destines for fate, but we immediately understood it. It is possible that this love affair can be the biggest mistake in my life. And many things, with time, will become more difficult to accept. But now we must enjoy each other and smile. After all, you can not be so happy, knowing that a bad end is inevitable, right? Are not we crazy fools?

***

"How long does love last?" I asked after a simple gust of tenderness turned into a searing breath and amazing sex. I still thought that the president's hands were everywhere, for every millimeter of the body received a piece of caress, so tender that it seemed surreal. Only water splash and mine, not at all quiet moans. I constantly resented the way he influences me. He fucked up all my instincts of self-preservation. Because of this, I often forgot to think about the consequences. I was frightened by the power he had over me. But then I began to like it. We have become more open to each other, which is probably why I started falling in love with him.

"I do not know," George said, looking at the stars in the black sky shining brightly with their distant light. He looked at me and held out his hand to me, and I silently sat down beside the shore. "I think this is a matter of luck. If you meet the right person, then love will last forever."

"Too much romance."

"Don't pretend you don't like it," his eyes are shining.

And he was right. At this very moment, I was satisfied. I hope that he, too.

 _But sometimes, when I look into your eyes, George, I feel that you have changed me. You're not just broke my world weightless particles - you burned it to the ground, destroying everything in which I believed everything I lived these years. And you know, I never tire of thanking you for that._


	2. bonus

Once I was standing in front of a mirror, he came from behind and hugged me.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I think that if it was natural, then I would like to marry you."

It sounded so simple and ordinary, so calm and without claims that he himself was confused when he said:

"I think that I would, too."

"Yes?" I looked up at him.

"Yes."


End file.
